Ruth Einstein’s Annual Super Bowl Proclamation
Every year since 2014, I’ve asked my partner Ruth Einstein which team she’s rooting for in the Super Bowl. A violinist, teacher and the most beautiful and aware human being on the planet, Ruth doesn’t care much for football. With that in mind, here below are her annual Super Bowl proclamations. (I think 2016 and 2015 are still among my favorites. But I report; you decide.) And in lieu of Super Bowl images, I give you Superb Owl images.
Bryan: Hey, Ruth. So are you rooting for Tom Brady and the Bucs or Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs?
Ruth: Joe Biden and the nation.
(I caught up with Ruth just as she was heading outside, as usual, into winter.)
Bryan: Ruth, wait. Which team in the Super Bowl this year? The San Francisco 49ers or the Kansas City Chiefs?
Ruth: What? They still name sports teams that way? Those were both fields of slaughter of indigenous people — by miners in California and frontiersmen in Kansas. I’m going out for a ski.
Bryan: Hey, Ruth, who do you like in the Super Bowl this weekend?
Ruth: The Super Bowl can’t be this weekend. The Super Bowl is always the same weekend as the Vermont Philharmonic’s winter concert.
Bryan: No, no, not this year — for whatever reason. The Super Bowl is this weekend. Are you rootin’ for the Patriots or the Rams.
Ruth: I’m rooting for the Dvořák cello concerto two weeks from now.
Bryan: So, Ruth, which team you rootin’ for in the Super Bowl this year?
Ruth: I’m rooting for the neurosurgeons. I’m hoping they can save these boys from brain damage.
Bryan: Ruth, which team do you like in the Super Bowl?
Ruth: Which team’s closest airport had more demonstrators last weekend?
(Note: This was at the time of massive protests against Trump’s first Muslim ban.)
Bryan: So, Ruth, which is your team for in the Super Bowl?
Ruth: I don’t know. Who’s playing?
Bryan: Uh, I think Denver and Carolina.
Ruth: Actually, it doesn’t matter; I’d rather watch grass grow.
Later that day …
Ruth: So Carolina is playing? North Carolina or South Carolina?
Bryan: Just Carolina.
Ruth: What do you mean? Doesn’t every state have a football team?
Bryan: No, no way.
Ruth: No? I thought every state has a team. Name one that doesn’t.
Bryan: You know about “Deflategate,” right?
Ruth: I’m all for it. If anyone needs their balls deflated it’s football players.
Bryan: So, Ruth, which team are you rootin’ for?
Ruth: I don’t know. What color are their uniforms?
Later that day …
Bryan: You know the rules of football, right?
Ruth: Yeah, of course. I read Charlie Brown comics. One team tries to kick the ball and the other pulls it away.
Even later that day …
Bryan: Ruth, do you know the two teams?
Ruth: Which are the Christians and which are the lions?
I’ll take the owls, and Ruth, you can speak for me anytime on the subject of football!
Yes, indeed, Kathie — she is wise in the ways of football! And many other things. 🙂
As Ruth’s brother, I can attest that none of that was made up. As for me, this year I’d like to say – and as a Bostonian born and bred – any one but Brady, except for maybe the other guy.
I can’t for the life of me figure out why I’m still rooting for Brady. But I am.
I love it (even if it’s made up). As a person who would always rather participate than spectate (not that I’m thinking of joining a pro team), always surrounded by friends in full Seahawks or Mariners fervor, depending on the season, I have to keep a low profile on certain days and wouldn’t even think about going out for a drive anywhere near our sports stadia. Thank goodness I have a mate who feels exactly the same. But it is good to hear others say what they find so attractive about it, has to increase my level of understanding. I will be starting my quest to find a Superb Owl, though.
Ha! That’s great. Thanks, Dennis. And those words aren’t made up. She actually said that stuff!
I can see Ruth saying this! Love the owl pictures!
Yep, classic Ruth! 🙂
Ruth has a very refreshing point of view……
Your a lucky man, Bryan
and your stories, priceless fragments joy in the day to day hubbub of life
Thanks, Peter. A lucky man, indeed. Very lucky.
Super Bowl or Superb Owl- it’s the best excuse for Buffalo wings!
Born and raised Buffalo, and of course I make the original Anchor Bar recipe 🙂 I don’t know or care who is playing whom, Carol
Yes, indeed — this is a culinary opportunity to say the least! Bon appetit!
I’m definitely rooting for Ruth! She’s, obviously, a winner!
I’M the winner in this partnership! 🙂
You were a smart man to settle down with this smart, witty woman.
You don’t know the half of it. 🙂
I’m with Ruth!
When I left Vermont for Texas two decades ago for job and family reasons I found the local paper there had a sports section as well as a separate football section behind that. Then when my job took me to Kentucky the local paper there had a sports section followed by a separate basketball section. I’m glad my local paper now that I’m back here in Vermont has only a sports section of 8 pages or less. Just right for starting the wood stove on cold February mornings!
Sounds like a fine ratio. Let’s hope newspapers survive in general! 🙂
I LOL when I read them every year as well!
Love it! This is priceless. And such a gorgeous shot of the GGOW.
Thanks, Jacki. And you should know those GGOWs!
Bryan, this is very funny! Plus I can definitely relate to Ruth’s perspective on the Super Bowl. Thanks for the laughs!
Thanks, Ann. Ruth does know how to pick ’em! 🙂
What a hoot!
Thanks for the laugh.
That Ruth is a clever woman.
She is indeed a clever woman.
(Glad your house didn’t burn down today.)
We had our, hopefully, one and only chimney fire.
Our poor neighbors! Scary.
Loved your dialogue. I read it to my husband and we both laughed with great gusto. Thank you for a bit of humor in this crazy world we live in.
Glad you two got a laugh from this. I still laugh when I read it! 🙂
I’m on Ruth’s team! I’ll watch that Superb Owl any time! Fabulous photo. Thank you. I needed that.
Maybe we could even get owls to play football. Well, maybe not.
Big smiles from Brunswick. (Hugs as well.) Thanks for this!
Gotta be a Great Gray out your way! 🙂
Ruth, you should definitely join me in rooting for the Falcons…after all, Brian is a bird guy…
As it turns out, the Atlanta airport might have have had more demonstrators than Logan.
Actually, I’m with Ruth……I’d rather watch the grass grow. Thank you for the smiles today…..we need them wherever and whenever we can get them
I don’t suppose any grass grows beneath those football players.
one thing I never liked were novels with nothing but dialogue but that was very entertaining. maybe i’ll try Where the Sun Also Rises again. BTW I saw that Owl on Bliss road last month. jayne ollin
Get a photo of that owl!
I found this very funny. I agree with all of Ruth’s answers, especially her 2015 comment. You go girl!
Hope all is well out on the prairie!
Hilarious! Raucous guffaws here from “SuperB owl” photo to Ruth’s comments with which I heartily agree!
She is indeed a wise woman. Thanks, Kate!